Over the past few years many of us have experienced that political discussions with friends and family can be fraught with tense dialog and disagreements. Generally I avoid having these conversations with family members with whom I have differing values and views. But recently I had a simple discussion with my brother-in-law. When I thought the point I was making had the potential to be received, he said 'you're being idealistic.' I've been shut down by this statement in previous discussions.
In this particular moment I wasn't willing to be silenced so easily. I called the tactic out and named it for the insult it was intended to be. I rebutted, "Calling me idealistic was meant to shut me down, shame me for striving for a better circumstance that we all deserve but has not been 'realized or created yet', and I don't think that's an insult. I think it's a compliment. How do we rise up into anything other than the status quo if we have no new ideas or desire to strive for the highest possible experience? How do we change and grow if all that's socially acceptable and available to us is 'what is'?"
There is a distinct disconnect between how the thesaurus depicts 'idealism' and 'idealistic'. Idealism is gorgeously described as embodying these qualities: the cherishing or pursuit of high or noble principles, purposes, goals, high-mindedness, magnanimity, dignity, glory, merits, morality, stateliness, loftiness, chivalry, generosity, distinction. On the other hand, idealistic is described as being: impractical, starry-eyed, unrealistic, optimistic, radical, romantic, quixotic, abstracted, and even chimerical (which means wildly fanciful, highly unrealistic!). I'm realigning and reclaiming the word idealistic. Being idealistic, the practice of idealism, is the antidote to the mediocre, the status quo, and the ordinary.
Somewhere along the way society gave way to the idea that being realistic is 'better' than being idealistic. That being pragmatic and reasonable is the preferred way to navigate life over trusting gut instincts or cultivating emotional maturity. It goes hand in hand with the popular view that emotions are meant to be neither seen nor heard. These are crucial underpinnings of how a patriarchy stays in power. It glorifies traits such as being practical and sensible and reasonable, and diminishes being creative, fluid, loving, inclusive, and emotional (which is not a bad word either!). The collective of these qualities are available to each of us and necessary if we intend to be fully functioning mature and enriched adults. So denying significant aspects of ourselves results in a gigantic imbalance in our personal worlds and collective world... which we're now clearly seeing on a world-wide scale.
I invite you to join me in redefining, reclaiming, and celebrating being idealistic!!
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