Today is a pressure cooker of a day. Today is a day where stress and unpredictability can have us feeling scared, ungrounded, and out of control. Fortunately, we don’t have to feel this way. We have other options that most of us haven’t been taught that are available to support us being empowered, even in the face of profound uncertainty.
Many years ago, I was made aware of a natural rhythm of life we are surrounded by every day, every week, every month, and every year of our lives that has transformed my ability to navigate stressful change and uncertain outcomes. That rhythm is named ‘Construction and Deconstruction’. I’ve made it a life practice to study this phenomenon. It’s astounding how helpful it is to understand Construction and Deconstruction and how little we know about it or rely on this knowledge to navigate our lives.
We’ve been taught and trained to be delighted by what we’ve collectively agreed are positive creations, something we want to happen in our lives like a relationship, a new home, a dream job. We’ve also been taught to disown, run from, move quickly through times and events that are seen as unwanted outcomes such as divorce, career upsets, or relational issues. What if we were able to see and accept that life consists of rhythms of change that, when not judged as either positive or negative, are absolutely naturally going to happen? What if we could learn to ride the waves of change powerfully and gracefully with little to no fear?
Understanding the naturally occurring rhythm of Construction and Deconstruction can help us do just that. The construction side of the rhythm is associated with the positive creations we celebrate with joy. The deconstruction side is one we dread when things seem to be falling apart. We do our best to avoid deconstruction and mostly view it as a sign of failure. But that is far from the reality of these experiences.
The changing of the seasons is a perfect example of a natural rhythm of Construction and Deconstruction. The seasons move quietly along in the background of our lives with their qualities and attributes that we accept as neither good nor bad. We mostly move along with them in spite of some of the inconveniences each season may bring to us. Generally, we don’t fear winter coming even though we may not know how severe that season will be in any given year. We prepare what we can and what we need to for our comfort and glide from season to season.
The changing of seasons exemplifies the rhythm of Construction and Deconstruction in other ways too. Each season offers special attributes that some of us find pleasurable and some not-so-much. Summer sunshine is invigorating but sometimes it can be overly hot, for example. The seasons don’t just start and stop. They overlap and blend into each other differently and similarly each year. And the ‘activities’ within each season are intertwined and crucial, instigating movement necessary to the season that follows. The leaves falling on the ground in Autumn are food for the soil nurturing the vegetation in Spring and Summer. Sensitive people who are tuned into these transitions can feel the sap start to rise even when it appears to be the ‘dead of winter’. Crocuses don’t just pop out of the ground, although they appear to do so! The plants are moving and changing and growing from stimulation of temperature and Mother Nature’s magic for weeks and months before breaking ground in the Spring. Each season is distinct and is part of a revolving, ever changing rhythm that quietly manifests itself, ongoing in the background, with no need of assistance from us. And this natural rhythm is of monumental significance to us.
The rhythms of Construction and Deconstruction can be universal, global, local, and personal. And these layers are self-sustaining all the time, interweaving with each other. Sometimes the universal, global and local rhythms culminate and become pronounced and we become hyper focused on these changes. Some of the changes we feel globally are considered positive, ‘construction’, and we revel in them. Sometimes we’re experiencing what we consider negative aspects like uncertainty and fear of the outcome, which is usually the deconstruction phase of the rhythm.
During this particular time in the span of our civilization, the background changes are flowing like a river influencing us. These changes highlight our values and what we want the next up-leveling of our lives to be, individually and collectively. We aren’t certain we can achieve the positive outcomes we desire and we lack trust in ourselves and each other that we’re headed in a positive direction. But what we don’t really understand is that the positive changes we desire require the ‘deconstruction’ of the outgrown, unwanted past ‘constructions’ we’re leaving behind. They don’t just disappear. When someone divorces, the previous life doesn’t just disappear. Parts of it dissolve and new aspects come to fruition. Households need to be dismantled and relocated. Personal operating systems of the family transform to new operating systems and responsibilities. It takes time, effort, consistency, and trust in self to accomplish this transformation. It can be difficult. (So difficult, many people avoid making this decision their whole lives!) The difficulty is weathered on behalf of huge personal upward, expanded movement that is seen to be of benefit for those making the decision to divorce. The deconstruction, although unpleasant and potentially devastating, is a relief, a letting-go, an open space for new wanted experiences to flood in. Deconstruction needs to happen for the new to be constructed.
Right now, today, we’re facing the results of an election, that is inconceivable to many of us that it’s even close. We’re fighting for right above wrong, good above evil, freedom above fascism. Good will always prevail. We live in a benevolent environment. The natural world freely provides oxygen to breathe, water to drink, food for nourishment. We must take our cues from Nature itself, as we are part of Nature, not the stewards of it. We are rising in our awareness of how much better it can be for all of us as we passionately think, speak, and work towards a world where everyone belongs, everyone is safe, nurtured, and precious. Let’s recognize the massive, positive, healthy construction that is happening all around us, and also recognize that deconstruction of old systems, policies and practices, and erroneous beliefs we’ve held for centuries is happening too. Let’s learn to ride the surfboard on the huge wave of Construction and Deconstruction that is happening simultaneously right now, all around us. Let’s understand this is a natural and necessary process that we are fully equipped to manage within ourselves. We can hold both and understand the wisdom and grace of the process. Let’s get on our surfboards and ride this wave of exhilaration! We’re all in this together!
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